This only increase the desires that are already inside each of us. In our society single people want to be married and married people want to be single. Many people want the idea of being in relationship more than the reality of what it takes to work. People are seeking someone else, other than themselves, to satisfy their deepest desires. This often ends in disappointment.
Often times humans meet someone, but dwell so deep in their own issues. Rather than repairing their issues, then end up putting their dysfunction, their past, their issues onto someone else. People have all types of tips and tricks to gain a relationship, but don’t deal with the real issues. Their issues.
Desire can light a fire, but only duty will keep it burning.
So many want a relationship. They want the idea. But marriage is work. For many people, if they treated their job like their relationship, they would be fired. Relationships are not what you can get, but what you can give.
Marriage may be the best thing, but it’s not the easiest thing. If you go in thinking it’s the easiest, you will go in with a sense of romance and quickly meet reality. This will end up resulting in resentment.
When you seek relationships, don’t go into relationships needy. Don’t go in be a taker, be a giver. This does not mean being used, but being lead by the spirit to do as God directs.
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1Corinthians 7:5 New International Version)
Relationships lead by desire end in deprivation. You don’t give me what I need, then I will not give you what you want. This is not God’s will. The lack of self -control teaches us the mutual respect and commitment that is required to have a lasting relationship. Everyone is not meant to be married. For example, Paul wanted us like him. He was so into Christ until a relationship was too complicated. For I would that all men were as myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
From these verses, Paul teaches that he’s single and that it’s better not to marry; but he also says that if we do marry, we’re not sinning (28, 36). Marriage is honorable and ordained of God, and so it can’t be sin (Heb. 13:4). But at the same time, each man has received his proper gift, and so some will marry while others will not (Mt. 19:12; 1 Cor. 7:7, 17-24).
Each of us have our own gift from God. Stop envying others’ situations. Marriage and Singleness both require a gift. Whatever moment you experiencing in your life, that is your gift. Marriage takes GRACE. To endure the hardships, to work. Grace is needed to remain faithful, committed, and to do what is right. Singleness takes grace as well. To endure the loneliness, the passion and the desire for companionship. The same grace God gives for marriage, is the same grace that He gives for singleness. The real gift is grace. We focus so much on the gift that we want, that we miss the gift we are given.
Don’t miss Grace.
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