Testimony By Bernice Furlow

This is more of a testimony that I am sharing with you.  The date… I will never forget, the event etched in my memory, in my heart forever (January 2002).  That was the beginning of the end… the end of my life as I knew it to be, the end of depression, the end of isolation, the end of self-pity, the end of fear (I'm still dealing with this one).  Life was not to be the same again.  I had been in a dark place for many years.  You see… my family and friends had no idea because I always had a smile on my face and laughter in my voice.  

Here's my story…. I was awaken at 4:40 am, and I was crying…. Why??? I didn't know.  I was exhausted and had gotten home around midnight from a part time job, gotten in bed around 1:30 am…. And I kept thinking I cannot work two jobs and function off three hours of sleep.  Why was I crying…. Couldn't figure it out so I said "God, everything is going pretty good right now".  Well I continued to cry… uncontrollably. I prayed and cried, prayed and cried, prayed and cried.  Then, above my head appeared three angels with recognizable faces (Joseph Dean, Terence Burke, and Gwendolyn McKenney).  They kept going in circles above my head.  I asked God "What is it? cause everything is okay in my life right now".  My finances were under control, my children were under control, and I had even met a guy after years of not dating.  God said to me "Your past with your ex has come and gone.  That is why I had you make the collage of the children at Christmas time… the beginning and the end of your life together with him.  What is it going to take, a lightning bolt?  This is what you have been asking for, this is what you have been getting on your knees praying for.  Open your arms and receive it, do not be afraid.  This is a gift I have bestowed upon you…. Treat it with respect, keep it holy, keep it pure".  At that moment I opened my arms and said "God, I am yours…use me at your will".  Then God touched my heart…. Literally He touched my heart.  A light shone between the angels, and revealed to me was an illuminated hand from the light that landed on my heart… I could see the outline of the hand and the creases (wrinkles) in the knuckles.  Upon that touch, the tears instantly dried up, and a calmness came in my spirit that still lives today. 

My experience lasted from 4:40 am to 5:28 am.
That day was amazing. I glowed, I cried, I praised, I testified.  

Now, let me tell you how stupid I was.  I thought that God had sent me a man.  You see I had been single for over five years…. So I thought God had sent me a husband.  This guy asked me to marry him.  So I thought God was giving me my heart's desire.  Oh…. I was wrong.  You guessed it, the marriage did not take place.  So I went back and had a conversation with God (cause I was puzzled).  You see…. It is easier to relate things with what we can see (such as a gift…. a husband).  God said "My child you have been asking me to come into your heart, into your life…. I've been knocking but you would not let me in.  This is a gift I have bestowed upon you…. Treat it with respect, keep it holy, keep it pure…. your relationship with Me".  Finally "OOOOH…. Ok God, I get it now" (I guess that lightning bolt finally got a hold of me).

 I imagined God looking down at me shaking His head and saying something like "my poor child, I have to make everything crystal clear for her".  I believe I have this invisible hook on the back of my neck….God is always tugging at it…. picking me up by it, shaking me off, and saying "YET AGAIN"…. And I respond "thank you God for loving me the way that You do".  You see, I'm a sinner and through it all God loves me.

You see, it's been 10 years that I have been wandering.  I need for it to be over…. It's time for a new beginning, a better life… filled with the Spirit of the Lord.

Hebrews 10:26 (For if we sin wilfully after we have received knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for those sins).

Deliverance (God brought you out of it, but you keep opening the door to it again and again and again).
Acceptance (Open your mind and heart and receive God's love. He loves us through it all, it's like no other).
Favor (Look at the extent to which God loves us…. enough to deliver us from our selfishness). 

After coming into knowledge of that which is the truth…. how many times do you do a repeat performance?  There should come a time when you stop right at that moment of conception and say "not today, not again…. God I'm listening, God I understand, God I desire to have you reside in me".